Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A Little Miracle

Its been over a week now. I debated for a while whether to write about it or not. I decided to write. I have had it rolling in my head for the last few days, and I think I need to get it all out on to speak. I almost lost my son.
It was the worst time of my life. I truly did not know if he was going to be ok. So what happened? I am going to try to relive it in all of the details I can remember.
We had just arrived at my husbands grandparents house in BC. We had not been there more than a couple of hours. We sat out in the back yard, having finished dinner. We were watching Jaxen throw around a ball, and commenting on how nice it would be to have a fenced in backyard for him to play. Aubrey came up to me and told me she had a secret. She needed to go to the bathroom, I laughed at her secret then I got up and walked her in the house. She finished her business, then I sent her out and I went to the bathroom too. I was probably in the house for at least 5 minutes. Maybe a little longer. I can't remember. I came back out and scanned the back yard. I am always counting my children. 1 2 3. I didn't see Jaxen. I asked Mike where he was. He said he didn't know. He had gone in the house to take a few dishes in. I hadn't told him that I was going in. So neither of us had been watching. I started looking around, so did Mike and his grandpa.
Then I saw him. And I remember screaming. I think I was yelling... no no no!!! I heard Mason let out a scream as he saw what I saw. Jaxen was floating face up in the fish pond. There was a loose netting over top to keep the birds out, I remember ripping it back and pulling his limp body from the water. I kept screaming make him breath, make him breath. Mike put him on the ground and told me to call 911. It was around 6:30.
I was hysterical. I was having an out of body experience as I listened to myself panicking, sobbing and screaming, and I  thought... it sounds like something you would see on a movie, not in my life.
The lady on the phone kept telling me to calm down, Mike was trying to do CPR on his tiny lifeless body. His lips were blue. He started to let out a low wheezing noise as Mike would breath in, it was hard to tell whether he was breathing or not.
I gave our location, and told her what happened, she said an ambulance was on its way, she asked if he was breathing. I didn't know the answer. Everything happened so fast. At some point in the conversation, we could tell that Jaxen was breathing....barely. She said to stop doing CPR. She asked me to tip his head back and check his mouth. He hadn't woken up.
The ambulance arrived very fast and first responders took over. They put an oxygen mask on and cut off his shirt. They started checking his vitals, his breathing, his heart rate. Then he vomited. They said that was good. He still didn't wake up. They carried him from the backyard to the ambulance.
Mike and I both went,  Mikes grandparents said they would watch Mason and Aubrey so we could go. Mike sat in the front, I sat in the back.
They asked what happened, how long he had been in the water. I didn't know. I couldn't tell them and it was killing me. I don't know how long my baby was floating in that water for. He was crying now, mad cries. They said that was good too. They didn't sound like his cries though, they sounded painful.  They tried checking his pupils, but he wouldn't open his eyes. Mike was riding in the front. I felt helpless watching my baby. At some point during the ride, they upped the urgency and we started going faster. I later found out they thought he might have had a seizure.
We arrived at the hospital and a dozen nurses and doctors were taking over. They put in IV lines, and took blood, they hooked him up to monitors, and machines. He looked so tiny on the table. They sent us out while they did x-rays of his chest.
I called our friends. I asked them to come. I need my son to have a blessing. They didn't hesitate. I called my mom. She didn't answer, I got ahold of my dad, I told him what had happened. I asked everyone to pray. Please pray that he would be ok. They said they would let everyone know, and send his name to the temple.
Mike was sitting on the bed with Jaxen when I came in.  He was still crying, but not awake. We waited. The chest x-rays looked good. They kept telling me things were looking good. That he was crying and breathing on his own, those were good signs. But I still didn't feel reassured.
I wanted to ask, but didn't know how....would my son ever be the same again? Will there be any damage. I couldn't get the words past my lips.
Andrew arrived and him and Mike and him gave him a priesthood blessing. Jaxen had calmed down, and was able to fall asleep.  I didn't know if I liked it or not. I wanted him to wake up.  The doctors were waiting for some purposeful movement. Other than clenching his eyes shut every time they tried to check them, he hadn't done much. He still looked lifeless.
We found out we were going to be moved to the children's hospital. I went to talk to our friends to make a plan. I was wet from pulling Jaxen out of the water.  I had minor scrapes on my knees and toes, that I didn't remember getting. I needed to change. We decided that Mike would stay, and I would go grab a few things and meet them at the other hospital. Mike didn't have his phone so I left mine. Our friends drove us around and offered to help in any way needed.
It was so hard being away. I kept getting flashbacks of seeing him in the water. The more time I had to think about it the harder it was. I asked for distractions. Talk about anything else.
Mike told me while I was gone that Jaxen had reached up and started rubbing his hair. It is something he does when he is trying to sleep. He also put his soother back in at one point. These were really good signs. But he still had not woken up or made eye contact.
At the children's hospital they decided to send him for a CT scan. It was after 11:00. I went down with him for the scan and breathed my first sigh of relief when they told me the first glance was looking really good. We wouldn't know about brain damage without an MRI, but there was no swelling or bleeding around his brain. We sat waiting in a room in emergency until they could determine whether to send him to intensive care or not. The doctor came in to check on him and he opened his eyes and looked around a bit, I kept calling his name, hoping he would look at me and recognize me. He turned for a brief second, then went back to sleep.
We asked for prayers on Facebook, and decided to fast as well. Around 2:30 we finally were moved upstairs. He didn't need to be in intensive care, but they would still be monitoring him every hour. Mike and I shared a little cot from 3:00 am until 6:00am with hourly check ins from the nurses. We didn't get much sleep. I would get up every hour and wait for signs from Jaxen. At every check he would get more mad at being poked and prodded. He would look around a little more, and even made some eye contact.
Then at 6:00 am he woke up and turned to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was the best feeling in the world. Twelve long hours after I pulled him out of the water, he finally woke up.
Mike went and got him some milk, which he drank happily. He sort of snacked on his breakfast. Then he started playing with toys and getting mad at all the tubes and wires attached to him. That morning they told us we would likely be in another night, unless there was a huge improvement through the day. Mason and Aubrey came with grandma and grandpa to see him. I think they were very relieved to see him up and moving around.
They did and ECG on his heart, and when things looked good there we were finally able to start losing some wires. They moved his foot IV up to the one on his arm and wanted to see if he would walk. The doctor told me to get her when we were ready. As soon as we opened the door he took off at a run. He was quite mad that his arm was still attached to an IV stand that kept slowing him down. The doctor saw this and was very impressed. He went and played in the playroom and seemed almost back to his normal self. Almost exactly 24 hrs after the accident, we were discharged from the hospital with a happy baby boy. In that 24 hour period every possibly outcome had gone through my mind. I was so relieved that we had the outcome we did. It really is a miracle. I am fully aware of the power of prayer and the love and support from others. We had people all over the world praying for Jaxen. All across Canada, the United States, Albania, and Australia. I felt the love and support from my family and friends. It was by far the scariest thing I have ever gone through, and I would never wish it upon anyone. My one friend said that many people might underestimate the seriousness of the situation because of his fast recovery. But it truly was a miracle. We are so blessed to have him in our life still. Mason and Aubrey now call him the boy who lived. I sure love my kids, each and everyone!

 The transfer from one hospital to the next.
 Waiting for the CT scan.
 It was so hard seeing him like this.
 Just waking up.
 It was so good to be able to hold him.
 Even better when he started playing with toys. He was
back to throwing them in no time!
 Finally unhooked from everything, but waiting to get 
the final word if we would be discharged or not.
 It took all week to get over picturing him in here again and again.
He didn't seem bothered by it at all and was back watching the fish the next day. 


  1. I am teary eyed reading this. A living nightmare, but thank you for sharing. I am soooooooooo incredibly overjoyed your little boy is okay. <3

  2. So frightening. I am so sorry that it happened bit so glad it turned out OK!

  3. Children are a blessing in our lives and when a miracle returns them to us it is even sweeter. So grateful it all worked out for you and your family. Thank you for sharing!